Imagine being on a desert island with only coconuts. Seriously, you'd go insane trying to open them day after day.

AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW'ITE GUYS! I had some decent things happen to me today, but I won't go into it here! No sir, no sir, I've decided to do another one off blog here and give you guys a bunch of random trivial facts about me, some you may know and some you WON'T know!

Hooray for me!
Alrighty then, in no paticular order.
I once ate an onion like an apple (when I was in year 3 or 4, very young) MMMM (I don't like onions anymore.. lol..)
I onced pissed in a bowel and put it in the fridge (there's been contraversy surrounding this, a "did he did it did he not", this clears up alll the confusion. I was YOUNG btw, really young)
I shaved my leg once. Not both, just one. Why did I? LOL. I have nooooo idea, I'm not a woman so there we go.
I have a scar somewhere on me that NO MAN SHALL EVER SEE. How? I spilt tea naked. Yes, I've learned to never drink tea naked. Seriously.
I used to think the 2 dots birthmark I have on my neck was a vampire bite. Naievity ftw!
I used to be one of those people that hated on Soulja Boy for Crank Dat, but then Kiss Me Thru The Phone came out and I actually liked it. That's what changed my opinion on music overall and made me understanding of other people's tastes.
I actually like Baby by Justin Bieber. Sorry, but I had to say it.
I've had a gay experience before. I won't say what, but it wasn't kissing. Oh no, my mother would not be proud. (This was a LONG time ago, and believe me I'm not gay, not at all)
I only blog because some dickhead dropped a curry on the floor 3 years ago.
I've not fallen over for years. Like, not even a fumble (I'm awesome, I have the balance of a cat)
My eyesight SUCKS, but I've never worn glasses. I can't even afford to get my eyes tested and even if it was free I won't because I can't afford glasses. I can live with bad eyes.
My favorite song is Kansas City 90210, by From Autumn To Ashes. I don't even listen to it much, but I fell in love when I first heard that.
I've been told I can sing before, and I used to be able to hit amazing high notes. I can't anymore, but I can still do awesome things with this throat.
I've never played Guitar Hero, or even played a real guitar. Or any instrument (apart from a keyboard in school)
I've tried to kill myself before. But honestly, that's the most retarded thing I've ever done. Shame on me.
I didn't feel sick after watching 2 girls 1 cup for the first time, girls being sick into each other doesn't even make me feel a little ill.
I once saw a movie about 10-12 years ago (not sure when) that left me unable to sleep for weeks. And to this day I have no idea what it is, and I've looked for a long time.
There is a certain 6 letter word that makes me feel physically ill to even say, I can't even look at the word because it just makes me feel vile. It's an ingredient for pizza and I actually like that. yeye, weird.
I've never been to another country. Not even somewhere shit like Wales or Scotland.
I've not got ID. I suck balls, don't you know.
I had my ears pierced once. Didn't like it, so I took them out and haven't looked back since.
I once filled a bottle with piss and mud and threw it into the air at school. I feel extremely guilty about it now, but being young and stupid sucked.
I've never broken a bone! I've even had my leg ran over once, and nothing broke. Fuckyeah ironman here.
I love the sound of my own voice. NOT when I'm speaking, but when I listen back to recordings. Idk why.


Can't really think of anything else off the top of my head! OH WELL. I'm sure many people will have countless hours of fun taking the piss out of me for this stuff.

Really general and boring STUFFS!

So first off, my kitten SNORES. Yep, sitting here snoring right now, woo!
Also I've been for a run everyday for 4-5 days in a row, call me usain bolt bitch.
I've also got grapefruit, didn't get a mango 'cause they're £2 each (RIIIIIPOFF)- I've never ATE grapefruit before (the juice is deliciooooous) so I'm a little nervous, it smells so nice though so I bet it'll rock!
It's been like a month since I gave up DRINK. Or 3 weeks, either way it feels like ages /:
I emptied my computers' recycling bin earlier- all 36gb of it (IDKLOL?)
I've started playing a game called Zenonia recently (on my phone), it's pretty snazzy!
I have apple pie in my fridge, I actually think apple pie is amazing. But not in THAT way.

Lastly I'm making a note here to just say I have no idea why I'm writing this, I was falling asleep before and now I'm wide awake.
lolol. Adiós

I'm in love with a STRIPPAAA

o I've got a headache atm and I just ate my last Kiwi, SAD FACE.
Need a new fruit to buy now, I wonder what it shall be! I love coconut but last time I got one it took a LOOOOOOONG time to break open and then it went moldy. MOLDY COCONUT FTL.
Maybe ummm, HMMM. Idk, mango? Never had raw mango, maybe this is my time!
ARRRRR IDK! I could get apples or oranges because they're boring as fuck.. NAH I DON'T THINK SO.

So another thing I have to say today is Kony2012, and it's gonna be a short mention because all I want to say is this.. I really cba with all this spamming. Right, I get it, I'm AWARE NOW. GOD DAMN IT WHATTHEFUCK. I can't go to a riot because I've no reason to. Well then, that's that.

Righto and in other news I just went for another run. Fun times yo, I'm still unfit as a boss but I'm awesome anyway, here's a vid.

To end this I'm gonna add that I recently read somewhere that if you have a lot in common with the oposite sex you're less likely to be able to have a relationship with them. Why do I mention this? Because it means the chances of me having an AWESOME girlfriend are very slim now, as I am very, very awesome.

OMG, MOBILE BLOGGIN'

Amg, so this is pretty swanky 'cause I didn't know there was a blogger app but there is! woo

'ite, so as you all know I'm an unfit BASTAD but I just did 100 starjumps, 15 push-ups then went for a 30min JOG, jep I finally got my pacing right!
So as a treat here's what I did while I was on a high (random as a bitch, and the 2 words that were audio cut were "jog" and "fuckin' shit" [I think])

YOU KNOW WHAT.
This app will only let me add pics, so here's a pic and I'll edit the vid in when I'm on my computer (if you can add a vid in edits of course)

AS PROMISED HERE YOU GO:

(me after 30 minutes of jogging/walking = OMGLOL I LOOK SHIT and dem pushups, wtf was I thinking? woe is me)

I can actually do an amazing american accent

Earlier today I had some amazing chicken, it was those mattesons fridge raider thingys and they were reduced so I thought MMMMM CHICKEN and got them (I don't usually like cold meat, but I thought fak it), and it was really nice, just throwing it out there!

So lately I've been trying to get into shape. I mean I've been doing badly but I've been trying, I've been off soft drinks for almost 3 weeks and I've been eating quite a bit of fruit.
What fruit you may ask, well I'll tell you! In the past 2 weeks I've had pineapple, lime, bananas, coconut, WATERMELON YAMYAMYAM and KIWI! Now something that's pretty weird about me is that I eat the kiwi whole. Yes, I eat KIWI SKIN! Why? Because Idk. I understand it doesn't taste amazing, but wasting food is never something I like to do. Something that's also interesting about kiwi skin though is that it's high in fibre (I guess it's good for you, so that's a plus)

Also I've been "working out" recently. Not like full on gym workouts (TOOO POOR AND LAZY TO GO GYM) but I've been going for DEM WALKS. I've went for a couple runs too! I also do laps of downstairs 'cause I get self-consious when I run outside :(. Also I've been doing push-ups and sit-ups, MAINLY pushups, I actually do about 10 pushups everytime I get up for a drink or to go to the toilet, and it really does add up I think (it's about 45 so far today, I do 15 when I get up in the morning). Also I went for a walk.
Are you ready for Ash 2.0? I am! It'll take a LONG time, but I'll get there!

What really gets me is the massive drink cravings- I've had 2 cans of Relentless and a can of Pepsi in my room for 2 weeks and I've not even opened them.. When should I? I mean sure, giving up for good is always a plan, but what about a treat? I'm thinking when lent finishes I'll have one drink, I think that's fair!
I mean it's kind of fitting that lent falls a week after I give up, so it's 3 more weeks of no drink until I can have one! WOOooOoO (I may not even have the one, who knows)


Alrighty then, not much to talk about that isn't game related so I'll leave you with this! Follow me on KEEK! LINKHEREOMG I'm not gonna be one of those people that plugs it any chance I can get like I do with this blog, I'm just gonna mention it once and leave it at that.
It's basically just a mini youtube, where you post 36 second or shorter vids. Mine are usually just small boring ones but that's good enough for me.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

So instead of an all exclusive look into the world of Ash I thought I'd do something different this time, and actually give you an all exclusive look into the world of Ash.

Oh wait.

So here it is, I'm going to write a list of things I have to choose between and not only will I say which one I prefer but I'll also give a reason.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHhhhhhh! Here goes.
Too hot or too cold? Too cold, I can wrap up if I'm cold, and I can potentially get an insane amount of layers. If I'm too hot I can only get naked, and o lawd is that a bad idea in public.
Too big or too small? Depends what! If it's a present or something I'd prefer too big 'cause free stuff is awesome. If it's anything else then.. well too big, fuck it I LIKE IT EL GRANDÉ.
Red or Blue? Well that's a tough one, depends what I'm thinking about. If I was colouring my room I'd probably have neither because both are a little weird, then again if I HAD TO CHOOSE ABSOLUTE MUST probably red, it just has better shades than blue I guess.
Coke or pepsi? Well that's a question isn't it. See I've given up soft drinks for now but I can honestly say it just depends what's cheaper at the time. Yeah I'm a poor fuck, but srsly. Also if it's a choice between diet and diet I'd say Coke. If it's normal or normal I guess I'd say Pepsi. And if it's ZERO vs MAX then I'd go for Zero. Either way Dr Pepper is better.
Tea or coffee? TEA 'CAUSE I'M BRITISH LOLOL. No, but yeah, tea is the prefered option OF COURSE.

Ok now for just random questions. I like ze questions see.
What colour hair do you think is best? If I'm honest that's a hard question. I actually like normal brown hair and darker hair colours, but anything else is cool too. One of the reasons most other colours don't spring to mind is that sooooo many people have colourful hair these days. Back in the day only a handful of people did. But now one in about 5/6 people have red hair, and I see blue hair all the time.
What's your favorite animal? Hmm. Difficult that. See, I like cats 'casue they're nice to me and I can just sit there with them for ages, and if I talk to a cat I'm not considered insane (much). I also like TEWTILEZ. 'Cause turtles are BADASS. I mean how many people in the world have their house ON THEIR BACK 24/7? Just the turtles , that's who! And snails. And some sea creatures. Still, turtles are actually awesome. So my favorite would have to be a Turtle with a Cat living in his shell (o lawd)
What's your favorite food?!?!?! Woooooooah. Hold the phone, that's a tough one. I quite like fried chicken (and watermelon, and kool-aid) and I ALSO REALLY LIKE Goodfellas pepperoni pizza, the stonebaked thincrust one (only one specific kind, and it's the best, otherwise I'll eat something non-pizza). If I had to choose a BEST I really have no idea, but if I had to choose ANYTHING in the world right now, I guess it would be KFC (I'mma pop a cap in yo ass)
If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? OH SNAP, THE PLOT THICKENS. I'd have to say Japan 'cause they've got so much shit there. I actually imagine it to be FULL of massive buildings selling Pokemon and other such game stuff, and I picture it to just be full of light and activity. It's a dream of mine to go there y'know, one day I will! They also make the most fucked up porn ever, which is actually pretty chillin'. Not that I watch that kinda stuff. (incest gameshow anyone?)
If you were given £1million (through LEGAL means) how would you spend it? Sheesh y'all, t'would be a dream! I'd first off buy a new computer, I mean that would be all I'd think of if I suddenly got money. After that I'd get a really nice desk and chair, and a really awesome TV. I'd then get some kind of cable TV and a better internet connection (mine is actually REALLY good, but I'd get "the best" just 'cause I'm a millionaire, lol.) I'd probably not get a new house 'cause I hate moving and it would burn the cash too fast. I'd also buy some gym equipment for my house (sadsadsad) 'cause a treadmill would rock.
If you were stranded on a desert island what one thing would you bring? Depends, does the island have wildlife and edible plants? Fruit trees maybe? Boars in the forest? Or is it just a tiny island with only sand and nothing else? If the latter I'd bring a guillotine (I am a millionaire after all) and kill myself. If the former (I actually have food) I'd bring a boat. Incase you're wondering why I'd not bring a boat to the small island it's simple- I'd die of starvation before I find land, and I can't exactly pilot a boat when I've not eaten and I'm dehydrated.
What's your favorite movie? You know what, I don't know! I've seen a fair few and I like pretty much everything. I quite like movies with Will Smith in tbh, only reason I mention this is 'casue in the past week I've seen iRobot, Independance Day, Pursuit of Happyness and I Am Legend, all kickass if you ask me.
What's your favorite TV show? Mmmm, I like LOST, I've not seen it for ages ('cause it's finished) but it rocked. I like Dr Who also! I'm gonna say that, 'cause it's still on. And just to add I like loads of TV shows but I don't watch TV too much. I also like CSI, 'cause I see dead people. BASICALLY, I'll watch anything that isn't a shitty reality TV thing.


Righto, I cba to think of anymore. But now you all know about me and what I like. Woooo, I bet you love knowing this shit.
(some part of me really hopes everyone skips some of this, 'casue LOLOL yeah, you know why if you read it all)
Goodbye then!

I don't wanna do it alone.

So if you've met me in the past few years you'll know I'm not the most fit person in the world, I mean don't get me wrong I know I'm a sexy mother- BUT I'M TOO AMAZING, IT'S ILLEGAL TO HAVE AS MUCH AWESOME AS I DO. So I'm trying to lose some awesome, and in order to do so I will have to fitten up (cool English, brothren)

How am I doing this? First off I've been off soft/energy drinks for 2 weeks (TWO WEEKS COLD TURKEY), that alone is the biggest change I've made, I had a full-blown addiction beforehand and now I'm on a good track (it's hard, it really is, but I'm trying), I've actually drank nothing but water for this entire time. Go me.
Another thing I'm doing is push-ups, I don't do many (about 20-40 a day) but it's still more than I used to do (0), which is better than nothing, right? I've also started walking more, I do laps of the house (HARDCORE), and I went for a RUN EARLIER (it sucked, it was supposed to be a jog but I just WENT FOR IT)

But that's enough of that! I've also started sorting my sleeping routine, which was actually more of an accident than anything. I've started sleeping before 1am almost every night, it's a MASSIVE difference to my old sleeping habit (where I used to be awake at 8am+, yeye). I mean personally I don't care because I have nothing at all to live for (read: be awake for) but it's good for me I supposed.

In other news I've got a watrermelon in the fridge, and a lime. Why? Because I'm actually hardcore. I also had a krispy kreme donut yesterday (original because I'm a boss ty) and that was nais.
What else can I talk about? Oh yeah, I'm on a site called KEEK, you should ttly watch my shiz there. It's basically a crossover between Youtube and Twitter (you post videos but the time limit is 36secs per vid) it rocks. LINKAGE<


Lastly (because even though I'm out of stuff, I like to pack as much into these as possible) I've got a new shampoo omfg, yeah I just wanna say I actually hate my hair because I have to wash it everyday and it pisses me off, because back in the day I could just leave it for ages and I didn't care. NOT ANYMORE. So yeah that really sucks and I can't find any hair stuff that really ROCKS and lasts a long time. MEH! OH WELL.
It's not like I need fine looking hair when my ravishing good looks do it all for me anyway /flicks hair
Farewell, people of the 'net.