Tuesday, 30 October 2012

I would sell my sorry soul, if I could have it all

story of my life is something of a boring tale, it started 20 years ago when I was born.

I can't remember what happened most of those years, as a child I apparently had a car drive over my leg, but I never went to hospital and it didn't do any real damage. I also got a shark toy thrown at my head and it bled an insane amount, but I never went to hospital, it never did real damage.
I also pushed my brother off a chair once, he broke his arm, it did real damage.

I like to think of myself as a nice person, but I've done a couple of things that I don't consider nice. I peed in a bottle and filled it with dirt in school once, I threw it in the air and it went into some girls hair. Looking back I don't feel good about it, heck, I don't think I even laughed at the time.
I also got the blame for chipping a guys tooth once, when it wasn't me. I didn't get in trouble for it, but I got "rep". I don't exactly think it's good, but whatever, it's forgotten now.

I used to be a really popular guy in my old school before I moved house, I was one of the most popular people there. Hell, I even played kiss-chase and shit, I like to think I'd still be popular to this day if I stayed there. But when I moved I became this guy that didn't know how to make friends, I mean until that point I had the friends already and didn't need to make more. I mean maybe things would've changed anyway, who knows?
I was bullied after I changed schools because I decided to sit next to the unpopular kid. And I wasn't even friends with him, he smelt bad and wasn't even interesting, sorry to say.
This left me alone most lunchtimes, which continued mostly 'til the day I left school. It's probably why I am what I am.

I'm not what I want to be, I get upset and I get lonely, the people I care about don't feel the way I do. My friends aren't as friend-like as I am, or as I would like them to be.
I treat people the way I want to be treated, I give people as much attention as possible, I read and reply to everything and I never ignore people. I tell people when I leave no matter how long it's been, and I'm always there. If I'm in a bad mood I'll hide it and pretend I'm fine, because I CARE.
And when I'm having bad times and actually talk about it and tell people they don't give me half the time I give them.

I'm fucking amazing, I'm the best friend you could ask for and even if it meant living on the streets I'd probably give you all everything.
I'm the most trustworthy, dependable and all round reliable person you'll ever meet.

so go fuck yourself, I fucking hate my life and yes, if I was rich I'd forget about everything and live in a fucking cave

I would bury myself alive

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