Thursday, 10 January 2013

It's contagious

Hello. I'd like to start this off by giving a nice little index list of things I'm putting in this post.
Here you go [finishlater]

I hate my life. I know, I've said it before. I fluctuate between liking it and hating it. Sometimes I think it's meh and sometimes I think it's alright. But when I sit down and actually examine it I just get hurt. It's an incredibly depressive moment for me to look into my life and realize how little I am.
Let me think, ah yes, this is some information to give.
I have no real life friends. Not a single person to see in real life. I mean I see my mother and my brother(s) sometimes, but they live with me. In fact I go out of my way to not be in the same room as my older brother, because of who he is. It makes my existance very lonely.
I also only have about.. 2? online friends. I know, one of them tells me they have no friends, but if I'm honest I can't see it. I'm not really joking when I say how few people I know. And want to know the sadder fact? If they actually cared a 10th of the amount I did they'd be amazing friends. In reality they just don't really care. I usually talk to them and they just "cba" to reply. Or spend a couple of hours doing something else and when they have something they want to talk about they'll talk to me and MAYBE acknowledge the fact I said something. MAYBE.
Oh sad life.
I also sit here every night applying to jobs and it has no result. I've gotten about 3 interviews in my life, oh I'm so cool.
And everyone I know has fallbacks if they run out of money. Rich relatives? Np.
Actual friends to ask for help? Well it's no problem at all my friend.
You know what's really sad? I am SCARED of going outside and talking to people. Because I'm not good enough, I'm such a pathetic person in the core that I can't amount to enough to be a friend for someone.
This, of course, isn't true. I'm a better person "at heart" than most people I know. They just get more because they were born with confidence. Something I was not born with, nor do I posses much of. It's another sad truth.
I actually think I should give up real life. I mean I'm in a good spot, I can actually just disregard "loneliness", it's not actually that bad. I'm good at games, I could just sit here and delude myself, pretending I'm a hot shot big boy. I'm cool.

I started playing a lot of League of Legends this week. Will probably stop though, as the only reason I started in the first place was to play with people. It's a shame nobody I know plays or wants to play with me.
I could level up to max but it's a massive chore because every time I play there's at least one guy raging at me for being bad,  when I'm sure I'm doing nothing wrong. I read up whenever I try a new champion but actually perfecting it is a lot harder than reading a guide. And people are just not forgiving, it's like they only play to be rude and arrogant towards people.
I mean my last game was as Yi and I'd played him the day before and did quite well, so I thought what's the worst that could happen? Well, I was made to go bot with a random ranged carry and they pretty much took every creep, and when I did try to get my own the opposing team had 2 derps to get me every time. Idk if it's just me being shit (likely) or what, but Garen is an asshat. I mean I try to autoattack a creep and run and he just gets up my ass, and even if I try to fight back he tanks everything I have, it's ridiculous. Anyway so I had a shitty early game (the guy on the lane with me whos champion I forgot died twice within 10 minutes and we'd lost the lane within that time too) and then we just lost hard. Idk man, Idk. I managed to build up some nice items at one point and went to try and kill Garen just 'cause we'd lost anyway and I popped everything in the game and he still took no damage. This is pretty much unrelated to anything I just wanted to say how much it pissed me off.
I also did my first normalmode WoW raid in MOP yesterday. Was pretty easy (faceroll even). I was happy with my performance and I even won one of my best in slot trinkets (absolute BiS until heroic modes I believe) which means I have both of the BiS pre heroic trinkets now on my Hunter@
Was a bit of a shambles though as one of the Rogues (who has won FIVE items prior) actually started spamming me with whispers asking for the trinket and even trying to buy/trade for it. I told him no as I care more about character progression than money, then he told me mastery was my worst stat.
First off I read all about the classes/specs I play and I can say that mastery (at this time) is my best stat. And it fluctuates between item levels. HE tried telling me haste was the best, which is very wrong. As BM haste is the worst stat (at my gear level) and crit and mastery are very close. Also the Agility proc on this trinket is what makes it so great, the massive uptime and fact it can proc on ANYTHING simply gives it a larger amount of "passive" agil overall than any other trinkets.
Good times.
I've also been playing a little bit of Pokémon White 2 every day just because I can. At the moment I'm just before the 7th gym and doing a little training! My team consists of (I actually have to go and get my DS in order to tell you this because I'm still not good at remembering new names, it's np), Emboar, Sigilyph, Leavanny, Fraxure, Azumarill and Gigalith.
This team changes a bit for different occasions. Right now Leavanny, Azumarill and Emboar have been with me since the very first gym. Gigalith was put in just before the birdy gym and I could not have made a better choice. This guy is AAAAMAZING. He pretty much soloed the gym (well he could have, but I used other Pokémon too just because I don't like to put everything on one Pokémon). Sigilyph is pretty much only here as my flier but I chose him because I didn't have any Psychics, so why not? And Fraxure is a DRAGON. The only one I have, and I always want a dragon in my team. So he's here. He evolved in 2 levels. I hope he becomes good then (as he's not too good right now)
I think I should realistically swap Azumarill out for something better, but I'm quite attached to it. I like Azumarill and I think I can do well enough without just going for an OP comp.

On a related note I watch Marriland now and it makes me want to Nuzlocke, but I don't want to lose any Pokémon so I'm screwed. If only I had an extra DS or even better an extra copy of a game. Ah well, it's ok.
I also have to buy a 3DS if I want to play Pokémon X or Y, as they don't work on a normal DS. I probably won't get one unless I get a job, which is quite unlikely as I suck as life.

I'm debating whether to post this or not now as I just ate and I'm not as sad.
But I will post it as it has some interesting stuff to do with games and whatnot.
I will see you and raise you one, for king and for country.

Goodbye for now.

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